Do I Need A Hot Tub Time Machine

Hot Tub Time Machine
                           Hot Tub Time Machine

                           Have you ever contemplated what you would change or relive if given the opportunity to time travel? I remember this hilarious movie called “Hot Tub Time Machine” that gave some middle aged men that exact opportunity. They were allowed to reinvent themselves and take advantage of missed opportunities that took place during their youth. The movie was as far from reality as you could possibly imagine, but still made me contemplate my life and the decisions I made along the way.

     If I had a Hot Tub Time Machine, would I be sitting here typing this blog or would I be flying in a helicopter somewhere. I remember being fascinated with helicopters as a child and wanted to fly a Huey like the ones used during the Vietnam era. Of course I was an underachiever during high school and chose a different path in life before I even realized the consequences of my actions.  That dream went out the window like so many others to follow.

    Life is funny; I hated school as a young adult and was more worried about girls and popularity. If I used a Hot Tub Time Machine and went back in time today, I would choose to be a be a book worm. I realize that no one and nothing really matters other than my education while in high school. I should have listened to my mother who told me that all good things will come in time and stop worrying about the unimportant things like fashion, cars, and etc. But, I went down the road like many others and I wish I could redo my entire high school and college career which came later in life.

     Cryptocurrency has been a hobby/obsession of mine for a few years now and I always tell my wife, “Some guy is driving a Lambo in Miami right now because of Bitcoin.” I actually heard of Bitcoin when its price evaluation was about $300 a coin. I actually played around with attempting to build a mining rig one day and quickly lost interest after spending about 3 hours on a misguided project.

    I did successfully build a mining rig, but this was after Bitcoin had reached all-time highs of $19,000. What if I was given a Hot Tube Time Machine, would I go back to 2013 and reinvent my future? I would be a millionaire right now and my life would be completely different. As I hope you already realize, money does not bring happiness, but it does make things a hell of a lot easier.

   But at what cost would changes come. If I used my own little imaginary Hot Tub Time Machine, how many of my children would have been born. Would I have even met much less married my wife. And yes, I still enjoy her company usually, but have to be happily married and honest to understand that joke. There would be even more severe ramification to changing your past that you probably haven’t even thought of yet.

    What about all the people I have come into contact with over the years? I am sure that changing the past would have changed the future for countless thousands of people, since everyone in the world is removed from each other by only 6 people. This is called Six Degrees of Separation and is worth a quick read. It is a quite interesting theory and makes a lot of since when you think about all the people you have come into contact with during your life.

   There are many decisions that I made in the past that I wish I could change, but those changes would remove some results of those decisions that I quite enjoy. I feel it is essential that one must become a peace with the choices they have made throughout their life and focus on the future only. You cannot recreate the past for good reason, but the future is a completely different story.

    Even right now as I am typing I have done something that will affect my future or others. You and I must realize that the clock is ticking and we must take advantage of the time given to us on this earth. We do not need a Hot Tub Time Machine to make us happy, we just need to make wise decisions today and we will be able to enjoy the results tomorrow.

Do I Need A Hot Tub Time Machine

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Ghost In The Attic Dream 1/23/2020


Ghost In The Attic Dream
Story about a reoccurring dream that haunts me


 Have you ever had a reoccurring dream that caused you to ponder the cause with no answers? I have had this experience and I would like to share this reoccurring dream with you today. The ghost in the attic dream has caused me fear and confusion and I still don’t understand why the ghostly figure haunts me. Maybe it’s something I experienced as a child or is it possibly a repressed memory or emotion. Nonetheless, let me welcome you into this terrifying dream that has caused me to wake up in a cold sweat on many different occasions.

  The ghost in the attic dream starts off no different than any other dream. The setting is usually based in a warped reality that is familiar, but somewhat different. The people in the dream vary between present and past relationships. My wife is always in the dreams and is probably the only consistent person other than the unknown ghost. The setting is usually where I currently live, but that’s the only part of the dream that is the same. The house is never the same, but it is always an old derelict house in need of work and has three to four levels.

The dream usually starts with my wife and I being excited about our newly purchased home and our accomplishment. The odd thing is that when we start to explore the property; I start to realize the state of the property and start to feel overwhelmed with stress and worry. As I previously mentioned, the house was derelict and that would be an understatement. The walls have holes in them, windows are broken, holes in the floor, peeling wall paper, and the list goes on. The house looks more like something you would expect from an old western movie or an abandoned farm house leftover from the depression era.
The irony of this is that I am so bad with my hands. I can change a flat tire or perform a basic oil change, but that is about it. Anything to do with carpentry, plumbing, electrical work, or whatever else can go wrong with a house is out of my league. So why would I buy a property in a state of disrepair with plans to renovate it myself when I know I don’t have the ability to do so. This is one of the many unanswered questions from my dreams.
Typically during the ghost in the attic dream all if fine, but I am discontent with the situation and have no readily available solution. We start to evaluate the property and come up with a plan of attack because the problems are numerous and we are about to move in. More often than no we start with the kitchen which is funny because I don’t have a clue what I am doing. My wife and are start patching up holes and fixing pipes with things like duct tape. Weird is an understatement at best.
At some point during the dream we venture upstairs to the second level of the house which is quite the same as the lower level. There are exposed holes in the walls, peeling wall paper, broken windows, and etc. Now this is where the dreams vary, but end up with the same conclusion. Sometimes the house becomes miraculously furnished or sometimes it remains unfurnished. Either the way, we make our way up to the third level. .
  The attic is full of dusty boxes and old furniture as you would expect from a house in its condition. Nothing is really different from the rest of the house except for there are no holes in the walls. The attic appears exactly as it should and does not need repair. There is always a small staircase to a fourth level that I choose to walk towards. I go up the stairs and open the door. I see antique dolls and a bunch of old dusty boxes. There are anywhere between 5 -10 dolls just lying about the room as if they were stored away and forgotten about decades ago.
  I instantly see dollar bills flash before my eyes because the dolls are antiques and I want to cash in on my newly found fortune. I pick up a doll, and suddenly realize I am not alone. The ghost of a young girl appears and is quite displeased with me for entering her room. She appears before me and is between the ages of 7 and 10 years old. The ghostly figure of a girl is Caucasian with blondish brown hair and dark eyes. She is wearing a white dress that looks more like a nightgown that is very dingy. Her skin texture is dark grey with dark rings under her eyes. Her look is sinister and would make the bravest person skin crawl. Her appearance is fuzzy and almost translucent, but she is clearly standing in front of me staring at me.
During some dreams the ghost in the attic is violent and psychically hurts me by pushing, biting, hitting, or scratching me. Other times she is more content with tormenting me by scaring the hell out of me. She will do thing like suddenly appearing or moving items before my eyes when she is not visible. The one thing that I am sure of is the ghostly girl’s goal is to get me out of her room and for me to leave her belongings alone. Once she appears, I usually exit the room quite quickly as you can imagine.
        We never actually leave the property though; we always stay knowing that the young girl’s ghost is upstairs. I usually don’t return to the room, but sometimes I do and end up being tormented around the house. At some point during these reoccurring dreams I usually wake up with a fearful yell and startle my wife sleeping next to me in bed. I then explain to her that it was the ghost dream again and she rubs my back till I fall back to sleep.   
 But lately, things have changed and I find myself bragging about the ghost upstairs in the attic during my dream to family, friends, neighbors, and even strangers. The house is still in disrepair, but I don’t seem to care. I am still afraid of the ghost but it has become a novelty to me. For some reason, I actually want to taunt the ghost in the attic and get a rise out of it. Maybe even actually create some type of communication between me and the little girl’s ghost. I usually wake up confused and a little frightened. This is such a stark change from my original dreams. I sometimes wonder what my dreams will morph into in the future.
I tried doing some research on Google concerning the ghost in the attic dreams. Believe it or not, there are a lot of resources on the internet to assist you with analyzing your dreams. According to the websites that I found online, there are unresolved issues in my past and they are haunting me. I sure do wish I knew what they were because I am not a fan of scary movies much less nightmares. Maybe someday I will make peace with my unresolved issues and my reoccurring dreams will end.
Even while writing this story and welcoming you into my subconscious mind, I wonder if the little ghostly girl will visit me tonight and how I will respond. One thing is for sure, she will continue to haunt my dreams until I discover what is hidden behind the closed doors in my past. At some point the cause of these dreams will be exposed, but until then, the little girl and I will continue to play this frightful little game.

Dream Interpretation Website                  

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Ghost In The Attic Dream

My First Love Was a Forbidden Love 1/14/2020

My First Love Was A Forbidden Love
My First Love Was A Forbidden Love

           Most of us remember when our lives were forever changed, the day that our hormonal chemistry changed and we stepped into the world of puberty. For some of us, this was an exciting time filled with new desires and misadventures. But for others, this was a difficult and stressful time while trying to discover their self and psychical awareness. The one thing that we all had in common was the inability to control our sexual attraction. This attraction may not have fit into the social norms, but these social dating standards were meant to be changed and I am proud to have taken part in the revolutions. 

            To fully appreciate this story of love and heartbreak, you must climb into my Hot Tub Time Machine and proceed to the year of 1993. During this year Snoop Dog released, “Nuthin’ But a G Thang “with Dr. Dre and the original premier debut of Jurassic Park swept across movie screens. This year was no different than any other year, but to me at the age of 17 times stood still.

          If I knew then what I know now, I would have just sat back and enjoyed every moment of that era. Instead, I had only one thing on my mind and that was girls. Most if not all adolescent’s boys have this weakness, but some can surely control it better than others.

            This sordid tale of heartbreak and despair took place in the suburbs of Baltimore in the state of Maryland.  I grew up in a middle class family and never was left needing for anything. My mother was an elementary school teacher and my father was a successful auto mechanic who later taught at a trade school.  My high school was typical, actually the best in the county at the time even though I didn’t appreciate this fact due to self-indulgence. The school was primarily white which led to a problem, we were black or should I say African American to remain political correct.
            My best friend from early childhood was white, while the rest of my friends and associates were as racially diverse as you could imagine. I didn’t see black or white, I just saw people. The Jewish population was extremely high, but I didn’t even become aware of this fact until my mid-twenties when a co-worker made an anti-Semitic joke about the area. I just saw people for people and the innocence of youth is bliss.
            My parents never really approved of interracial dating and were always displeased with my attraction to a different race. But as I stated earlier, some things aren’t controllable in life and this is one of them.  I made multiple attempts to date young white girls throughout middle school and high school, but for the most part it was unsuccessful. It wasn’t due to my looks, but more so due to bad timing. If I had been born just a measly 10 years later, my entire dating experience in high school would have been different. But nonetheless, I found the love of my life even if it only lasted two weeks.
It all started with a little letter folded into a square that was addressed to me from Sarah. She was a beautiful girl that stood about 5’4 tall with strawberry blonde hair. Her braces made her appearance ever so more seductive, but I knew even then that braces weren’t supposed to be attractive. I had noticed her many times in the past, but figured that she was out of my league and I decided to save myself from rejection. What a mistake that was, I could have found love sooner if I only had more courage.
All it took was one letter and I found myself thrust into my first interracial relationship. I loved the late phone calls into night and writing of letters back and forth. All I could think about was Sarah and I must admit the feeling of puppy love is the best feeling of all. You can’t imagine life without that person even though deep down you realize it isn’t a realistic emotion.
 Our relationship blossomed as we held hands walking down the hallways and moments of embrace with empty blank stares from some. It was my turn to show affection in public and I was determined to do so every chance I got. I would look forward to that romantic but awkward kiss that made me feel like I was flying high in the clouds above. There was only one little problem, her father did not approve. Our relationship was secret from her family and it was a matter of time before my world came crashing down around me.
            After dating for about 2 weeks, Sarah walked up to me in school looking quite upset. She informed me that her father instructed her to discontinue the relationship, but we both decided to continue in secret. Unfortunately, this didn’t work. A few days later Sarah’s father decided to confront me at my part time job at McDonald’s.
            He wasn’t a big man, but he was a man and I was just a boy in love. He confronted me in the parking lot berating me and voicing his displeasure. He never made a racial statement, but the tone of situation was clear and his hatred was in his eyes. Just when the situation was about to become volatile, a car load of my friends just happened to pull into the parking lot. As they walked over to see what the yelling was all about, the situation was over. Sarah’s father knew he was out numbered and made the wise decision to leave.
            Unfortunately, his message was clear and the relationship was over because my first love was a forbidden love . She lost access to the phone at home and was forbidden to associate with me in school. My heart was heavy with despair and for a brief moment in time I couldn’t imagine life without Sarah. But as we all know, life goes on and I eventually found a replacement for the void left in heart by Sarah.

Interracial Dating


My First Love Was a Forbidden Love